Bubbly Ghanaian actress and television personality, Joselyn Dumas'
friendship is not open to all; certainly not for people whose attitude
she considers ugly.
In a rare radio interview, the actress, noted for her admirable
figure, said she doesn't befriend people who have a different thinking
frame because she does not have a bad attitude.
According to the award winning actress, because she is not ugly in
character, she attracts beautiful people, and so befriends only pretty
people.
Joselyn made the revelation while answering a question on the topic:
"Can a man and a woman be just friends?" on the Super Morning Show on
Joy FM with Kojo Yankson last Friday.
"I don't befriend ugly people naturally because I don't think I am
ugly so I attract very beautiful people - men and women. I've never made
an ugly friend, all my friends are beautiful," the talk show host
stated.
Expanding her views on the topic, the actress noted that there is
nothing wrong with a male and a female agreeing to be platonic friends.
"You can be friends [with] the opposite sex and be platonic friends
but at the end of the day, it's what you both want, it takes two to
tango so if you are my friend and we just want friendship that's what
it's going to be if we both want to take it a step further it's always
easier because we've already been friends and we know what we like and
we don't like," Joselyn Dumas noted.
She added that, "if you have a friend and you are just friends and
you both agree that you just want to be friends, there is nothing wrong
with that."
The actress further stressed that, friends who are not in tuned with
what she wants, respect her decision "otherwise we can't be friends
anymore."
'Friends with benefit'
Joselyn Dumas had held the view that the popular phrase, 'Friends
with benefit' did not necessarily connote sexual relationship but
friendship in which both parties are there for each other.
She said, "we've all had a friend with benefit. It could be different
benefits but we've all had a friend with benefit....when you need
something, they are the people [you go to] as well."
After renowned playwright Ebo Whyte, also a guest on the show,
explained that the popular term is associated with friends who engage in
sexual activity without commitment, she disclosed that she has had a
friend with benefit.
"Oh yeah absolutely," she said and added that "sometimes too I think
where there is a tag with a relationship, it becomes a problem, then the
expectations are quite high but we have a friend with benefit, we see
how it goes. If it goes well and we eventually decide that look we [are]
going to take this a step further kudos but once this is my boyfriend,
this is my girlfriend or I am married, there is that pressure... I
personally don't want that at that particular moment so I would have a
friend with benefit."
Joselyn noted that she holds that view because "there is that
pressure of wanting to please all the time but when it is a friend with
benefit, we both have that mutual understanding that at the end of the
day, I don't owe you so much."
Ebo Whyte commenting on "Can a man and a woman be just friends?"
said "I will say yes and no.... What do you want in a friend?" and that
friendship without sex can be a fantastic one.
"I do know that a lot men have never given themselves the opportunity
of looking at a woman as more than a sexual object and they don't know
how much they are cheating themselves because the women you haven't gone
to bed with is such a fantastic woman in relating when she knows that
this is not on the card," he said.
The playwright noted that, "once sex comes in, the whole dynamics of a
relationship changes. It is possible, it is difficult but that is no
reason why we should not give it a try and it's all in the mind and your
orientation."
Ebo Whyte, who is also a counselor, advised that, "friendship should
be allowed to grow" because women generally "don't see themselves as sex
objects. They wish you would admire and respect me for who I am as a
person, for my mind not my body."
Communications Specialist and Consultant, Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah
agreed with Ebo Whyte and stressed that "it's entirely possible for men
and women to be platonic friends. I also think it's entirely possible
for men and women who have previously been in a sexual relationship to
become platonic friends. What's important is what you have in common."
Sedem Ofori, Senior Producer and Head of Thought Leadership Unit at
Joy FM, held the view that there is nothing wrong with adults choosing
to have sex and remaining friends.
"It depends on what you call friendship and what friendship means to
those two people. They could be friends and sleeping and doesn't make it
any less a friendship," he noted.
According to him, it is sometimes an idealistic expectation when
friends approach a relationship with the presumption that they will not
be having sex because "what it means is that you will be spending a lot
time together. You will be sharing very intimate sides of your
personality and experiences together that naturally puts you in a
position where you feel attraction for each other."
